U look good from far, but when u get closer, ur far from good!
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy shoes!
Oh! So thats why your looking, trying to steal my looks are ya!
Got Beef?!? Yeah start cookin!
God hates you, live with it.
When you see me, you be me.
When you Love someone just spit in their face, its always worked out for me!
My hamster ate my homework...the teachers never heard of that one b4.
Love me or leave me... hey wheres everyone gone?!?
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
Whoever said 'words cannot hurt me' never got hit in the head with dictionary.
7 out of the 3 people in my head are telling me to go to sleep.
Guns don't kill people... I DO!
If you can read this you need another beer
Mary had a little lamb, her farther shot it dead, now it goes 2 skool with her, between 2 slices of bread!
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
Sanity is a game... u either win it, or u lose it
Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!
My teacher said I could become anything, so I became drunk!
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why are football stadiums so cool... cuz there are loads of fans there!
If money doesnt grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
Why am I so cool... mainly cuz I have a fan in front of me.
We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.
In jail, you get food, in jail you get tea but the only thing you don't get is the... KEY!
Those who laugh last think slowest.
I do whatever the voices in my head tell me to do.
Don't smoke cigs, you only have 2 lungs. Smoke weed, neurons, you have millions.
Say no to drugs, give them to me!
My imaginary friend says his big toe thinks ur crazy
The computer may have beaten me at chess, but it was no match for kick boxing!
Your family is like a cactus, its a bunch of pricks!
I'll beat you with a stick!
The internet is a great way to get on the net.
Most lies are false
We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads.
Will the highways on the Internet become more few?
All kids are gifted; some just open their packages earlier than others.
Sometimes I think I'm so romantic I could marry myself!
Evil Gummi bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue, and that purple one took my shoe!
If you want to be a party animal, you have to learn to live in the jungle.
My cat just knocked over a candle, which set fire to my dog. He, in turn, ran into my curtains and now they're ablaze too. Damn it!
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