Santa - Banta Jokes

• SANTA went to court
  JUDGE: "Order ! Order !"
  SANTA: "1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !"
  JUDGE: "Shut Up !"
  SANTA: "No, No..7-Up!
  
  
• Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall.  It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.) Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back, "Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass).
  
  
• Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone." "I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh.
  
  
• Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices,"said Banta Singh." It said , "FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
  
  
• 'Take me to the 10th floor,' said Banta Singh as he entered the lift of a high rise building. When the lift reached its destination, the liftman opened its gates and said, 'The 10th floor, beta.' 'Why did you call me beta?' demanded Banta Singh. I am not your son.' I called you beta because I brought you up,' replied the liftman.
  
  
• The collector asked Banta Singh for his rail ticket. Banta Singh searched his pockets but could not find it. 'Never mind,' reassured the collector, ' I will take your word that you bought your ticket.' 'That is very kind of you,' replied Banta Singh,'but if I don't find it, I want to know where to get off.'
  
  
• Santa Singh : 'Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made. The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it ?' Banta Singh : 'Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top, how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open?'
  
  
• Sardarji ( to doctor ) : Doctor, I have a problem.
  Doctor : What's your problem?
  Sardarji : I keep forgetting things.
  Doctor : Since when do you have this problem?
  Sardarji : What problem?
  
  
• Santa Singh and Banta singh are sitting in a bar sipping Black Label Johnny walker when Banta singh noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner. As he was getting up to talk to her. Bar Tender said "Hey don't worry about her, She is lesbian! ". Banta singh "Lesbian or no lesbian, I get all of them" Then leaping forward in a very sexy voice he said "Where exactly in Lesbia, you from?"
  
  
• Santa Singh told his wife that after his death she should marry Banta Singh. "But why should I marry Banta who is your enemy no 1" enquired his wife. Santa quipped, "Oh Darling, this is the only way I can take my revenge from that useless fellow. Ha! Ha! Ha!!
  
  
• Santa Singh was walking down the street when he saw a banana peel on the roadside. He exclaimed in disgust."saala!!! aaj phir girna padega!!!! (damn!!! i have to fall again today!!)
  
  
• Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected: He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote: Yes
  
  
• BMW cars were having back mounted engines earlier.
  
  Santa purchased a new BMW and was driving back to home very happily. On the way the car broke down. Santa came out of the car and opened the bonnet, trying to fix up the problem. Immediately began to sweat.
  
  By that time Banta came by that way and saw our Santa, totally confused and sweating, trying to search something inside the bonnet, and asked him what was the matter.
  
  Santa: "The BMW people made me fool.They have given me the Car without the engine."
  
  Banta: "Don't worry. I have spare engine in the back of my BMW. You can take that.
  
  
• Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
  A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
  
  
• In an African Safari, A Lion suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
  Wife : Shoot him! Shoot him!
  Santa:Yes Yes.I'm changingthed battery of my camera..
  
  
• Santa: My wife died yesterday.
  I'm trying to cry but tears are not come out, what to do?
  Banta: No Problem. Just Imagine she Came Back
  
  
• After Eating Fish Santa Dont Drink Water
  Why?
  Because He Feared That Fish Will
  Start Swimming In His Stomach
  
  
• Santa: We Need A Bridge In Our Village.
  Minister: How,There Is No River In Your Village?
  Santa: Oh Then,We Need A River Too!
  
  
• Judge: Why have you stolen money from this man?
  Santa: My lord I've not stolen money. He just gave it to me.
  Judge: When did he give you money ?
  Santa: When I showed him my gun.
  
  
• Santa: I've Been Sending E-mails To William Shakespare...
  Banta: William Shakespare Is Dead, Stupid.
  Santa: No Wonder He Hasn't Replied As Well
  
  
• Policeman: Why Are You Driving On The Sidewalk... ?
  Santa: It's Too Dangerous To Drive On Street Alot Of Accidents Are Happening Now A Dayz
  
  
• Santa Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
  "Is this one one one one?" says the voice.
  Santa said, "No, this is eleven eleven."
  "Are you sure it isn't one one one one?"
  Again Santa said, "No, this is eleven eleven."
  "Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night."
  Santa replied, "That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."
  
  
• Santa: Doctor,This Medicine Is Not Available At Any Medical Store."
  Doctor: Oh Sorry, I Forgot To Write The Medicine. That Was My Signature.
  
• Santa: Should I Buy Tickets For My Children.?
  
  Conductor: Yes! Only If They Are Above 8.
  Santa: Thank God I Have Only 6 Children..!!
  
  
• Santa: I made my son fool.
  Banta: How?
  Santa: Last night he stole all my money and spent it.
  Banta: But how you fooled him?
  Santa: I was awake but didn't stop him!
  
  
• My Grand Father Lived For 96 Years He Never Used Glasses.
  Sardar : Ya I Know, Few People Drink Directly From Bottle.
  
  
• Prof: Chemical Symbol of Barium?
  Sardar: BA
  Prof: and Sodium?
  Sardar: NA
  Prof: What will we gt if 1 Atom of BA & 2 Atoms of NA combine?
  Sardar: BANANA!